Explore how society constructs masculinity through socialization, hegemonic norms, and toxic behaviors. When I first started paying attention to how men around me behaved, I noticed patterns that seemed almost choreographed. The way my father would refuse help carrying heavy boxes even when his back was clearly hurting. How my college roommate would laugh off his anxiety about exams while privately struggling. These moments stuck with me, and years later, studying the sociology of masculinity helped me understand what I had been observing all along.

Masculinity is not something men are born with fully formed. This realization might seem obvious when stated plainly, but it contradicts much of what we assume about gender and identity. The sociology of masculinity examines how societies construct, maintain, and evolve ideas about what it means to be a man. These social constructions vary dramatically across cultures and time periods, which tells us something crucial about their nature.

Think about the concept of hegemonic masculinity for a moment. This term, developed by sociologist Raewyn Connell, describes the dominant form of masculinity in any given society at any given time. It represents the idealized version that other forms of masculinity are measured against. In many Western societies, hegemonic masculinity has traditionally emphasized physical strength, emotional  stoicism, financial success, and heterosexuality. But here is where it gets interesting. Very few men actually embody all these traits completely, yet the ideal continues to exert enormous pressure on male behavior and identity formation.

I remember watching my younger brother navigate high school, constantly adjusting his interests and presentation to fit what was considered acceptably masculine. He loved theater but would downplay this passion around certain friends. The weight of these unspoken rules about masculinity affects boys from an incredibly young age, shaping everything from the toys they feel comfortable playing with to the careers they eventually pursue.

The sociology of masculinity reveals that gender socialization begins almost immediately after birth. Boys receive messages about appropriate masculine behavior from parents, peers, media, educational institutions, and countless other sources. These messages accumulate and solidify into internalized beliefs about how men should act, think, and feel. What makes this particularly fascinating from a sociological perspective is how thoroughly these constructed norms come to feel natural and inevitable.

But masculinity is not monolithic. One of the most important insights from masculinity studies is the recognition of multiple masculinities existing simultaneously within any society. Race, class, sexuality, age, religion, and other identity markers intersect with gender to create diverse experiences of being male. A working-class Black man faces different expectations and stereotypes than an upper-middle-class white man. A gay man navigates masculinity differently than a straight man. These variations challenge the idea that there is one correct way to be masculine.

The concept of toxic masculinity has entered mainstream discourse in recent years, though it often gets misunderstood. Toxic masculinity does not mean that masculinity itself is inherently toxic or that all men are problematic. Rather, it refers to specific harmful behaviors and attitudes that emerge from restrictive masculine norms. When men feel they cannot show vulnerability, cannot ask for help, cannot express emotions beyond anger, or must constantly prove their manhood through aggression or dominance, these are manifestations of toxic masculinity. The sociology of masculinity helps us understand where these patterns come from and how they perpetuate themselves.

How do men learn to suppress their emotions so effectively? The answer lies in repeated social interactions where emotional expression gets punished or ridiculed. Boys who cry might be told to toughen up. Men who admit to depression or anxiety might face judgment about their manhood. Over time, these experiences teach men that vulnerability equals weakness, and weakness is the ultimate failure of masculinity. The personal costs of this emotional restriction are significant, contributing to higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, and relationship difficulties among men.

Yet masculinity also evolves. Looking at historical shifts in masculine ideals reveals just how socially constructed these norms really are. The emotional restraint valued in Victorian masculinity differs from the sensitive fatherhood celebrated in some contemporary contexts. The rise of feminist movements, LGBTQ+ rights movements, and broader cultural changes have all influenced how societies think about masculinity and what possibilities exist for male identity.

I have watched friends become fathers and wrestle with what kind of masculinity they want to model for their children. These men often find themselves caught between the masculine norms they internalized growing up and newer, more flexible ideas about gender they intellectually embrace. This tension illustrates how deeply embedded gender socialization goes and how much conscious effort it takes to question and potentially  change these patterns.

Reference

Connell, R. W., & Messerschmidt, J. W. (2005). Hegemonic masculinity: Rethinking the concept. Gender & Society, 19(6), 829-859.

Courtenay, W. H. (2000). Constructions of masculinity and their influence on men’s well-being: A theory of gender and health. Social Science & Medicine, 50(10), 1385–1401. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0277-9536(99)00390-1

Kimmel, M. S. (2005). The gender of desire: Essays on male sexuality. SUNY Press.